Kiwis Corner

I’ve started a new project. It’s called Kiwis Book Blog, and I think the title says it all. You can read it here: http://kiwisbookblog.blogsome.com/

I will also post it all through my Notes-app on FaceBook. 

A short update on my life, wich is extremely un-interesting most of the time. But I guess some of you are interested in what happends in my life anyway.

Sighsten passed away a week ago. I came out in the morning to feed the boys and he was laying stiff and cold on the bottom of the cage. I think that his immune system was low since he was so very very skinny, and probably got something that his cage-mates could handle. I’m calling the vet on monday (it’s been closed over christmas and now it’s the weekend) so they know I’ll be coming in to get him cremated. He’s on the balcony wrapped in a towel. It’s so cold out that I haven’t needed to put him in the freezer.
  I’m not sure that Gunnar has a tumour, but I don’t know what the lump is. It doesn’t feel like a tumour any more, over the last few days it has turned very very hard (most tumours are a bit spongy). At least it doesn’t seem to hurt.

We’re finally moving on tuesday. I’m looking forward to getting it done. I hate the packing and un-packing but it will be nice to have a bigger place, with a room for me to withdraw to when it gets to noisy. Niddes friends are louder than mine, most of the time. I like them, but some times I get overdoses of sound. 

I’m thinking about calling the psychiatrist again. I’ll wait some more since I hope it’s just temporary- but the nightmares has returned and I’m back to thinking about what would happend if I met him, what I should do if he turns violent and things like that. It really really sucks, it was so nice NOT to have that in my life, and finally feeling like I might be strong enough to go back to Gotland to see people. But as I said- I hope it’s just temporary and that it will go away when the stress from the holiday and moving goes away. 

Ikea tomorrow. We’re buying a shelf for the bathroom, nightstands and frames. L and P are coming too, it will be nice. 

So it’s been a while since I wrote. Alot and yet not very much has happened. Lennart got pneumonia and had to be put down, I miss him alot. Gunnar injured his paw but that has healed now, but he has a tumor too. Not a very big one yet and it seems to be growing slowly, but still. I’ve been home from work about a week now with the cold of doom, my sinuses being visited by a team of builders. It’s christmas in two weeks, and we move in three.
But at the same time life slowly moves forward, snow comes and goes, I work eat sleep and repeat. I wish I had some deep thoughs to share with you, but I don’t. Oh! One thing! This is great! I’m no longer in therapy, and is now well. I no longer have PTSD! It’s awsome! I’m still on meds since you have to take it slowly when you quit them and all, but it feels very good and has been over two months since my last anxiety attack. YAY! *happy dance*

So I’m back home again. Feels good to sleep in my own bed, on my own pillow under my own cover.
It was wonderful to see my friends in Bakersfield again, I loved San Diego Zoo and Sea World, Las Vegas was crazy and The Blue Man Group was incredible! I can’t wait ’till my brain has slowed down so I can start sorting out particular memories from the crazy, tangled pile they are in now.

It’s good to be home with my friends again. But I miss you Kadin. We had so much fun!

I had the strangest dream last night. I dreamt that I was going to preform at a theme park. The theme was some djungle adventure that the founder had experienced in his youth. There were swamps with alligators and stuff (all fake of course since it was a theme park). But then somehow I wasn’t to preform but sit in the audience. After the show I met up with my brother, who for some reason wanted a sexchange. I was really really mad with him, but I didn’t know why. It wasn’t that he wanted a sexchange, I was fine with that. I think it might be that all these years I thought he was a boy and all the while he was fooling me since he really was a girl trapped in a mans body. But it took a long time to get to any kind of conclusion. While being all mad at him I walked around the theme park, ending up by a doughnut stand. The doughnut stand was worked by Ricky Martin (why, my subconscious, WHYYY???), and all the other people got their orders before me even thou I was there first! So I got even more cranky. Then my brother came and ordered an 8 gallon trippe thick milk shake. That was their medium size.
I was angry and left, going to some friends apartement. It was studio apartement filled with cool stuff, but it was sad becaus one of the friends had just been killed at work. The friends where a couple of gay chinese shark hunters who lived there with their shark hunting dogs. The dead one had been killed during their last mission, to find and kill the extremely aggressive basking shark. They had almost succeeded when the shark breached, hitting their canoe with the tail fin on its way down. He fell in to the water and was dragged down in to the deep by the shark.
His partner and boyfriend was very very upset, so we helped him pack up the dead ones things and sorting through them for what to keep and what to get rid of. Then I woke up.

 I have no idea what my subconscious is trying to tell me. Feel free to analyze and send me the result.
I mean, the basking shark is very very placid and only eats plankton. Why would Ricky Martin work in a doughnut stand? Why would anyone hunt shark by means of canoe, and why would that be the standard way of shark hunting- canoe and dogs? I’m pretty sure my brother doesn’t want a sexchange. (The only person I know who wants one is FtM, to top it of. But he is almost done, and it looks really good!) Help me?

I have a new cell now, a Nokia 2760. A red one. But I still have the same number. I got the old one working just long enough to copy the numbers to the SIM-card so I could move them to the new phone.

Since I was really sad and upset about finding out about the so called friend being mad at me, I forgot to tell the good news I got earlier that day.
I finally got a diagnosis! I now officially have Asperger syndrome with an obsessive/compulsive personality. Finally! So now I’m finally entitled to help with certain matters when I study and things like that. I’ll also get help with my dermatillomania.
And no, it’s not as bad as it sounds. I don’t wash my hands a million times a day or have to touch the door knob ten times before I leave the house. The only big obsessive/compulsive behavior I have is the dermatillomania. I guess that’s bad enough but it could be ALOT worse. So please be happy for me and don’t worry! I’m no different then I were last week, only now I’m entitled to a bit more help.

Today I effectively killed my cellphone by dropping it in the toilet. No it was only water in the toilet, yes it was an accident and finally I blame it all on the cats (it happened at work, where we currently have two collies and two kittens). Anyway, I’ll have to make due with Niddes old cell (known as "the elephant ear" and "the taco phone". It’s the first N-gage phone by Nokia. http://www.sidetalkin.com/ ) ’till I get the new one on monday. 

I got my salary today, so I went out for fika with Lina <3<3<3
And no, there is no good word for "fika" in english, wich is an obvious fault and you should at once make it a loanword like you did with "smorgasbord".

Otherwise not much new to report. I’ve made a new character for the Camarilla in Uppsala, a malkavian. And tomorrow I’ll finally get rid of the economic responsability for SRS. I don’t want to be echonomically responsible for a club that doesn’t work.
Now, bedtime.

Apparantly I’m at odd ends with someone withouth even knowing it.
   I found out when an aquaintance called my boyfriend to apologise for not inviting us to her party this weekend, but having us there would have been to stressful for the girl who helped her fixt the party- and whom I apparantly have an argument or whatever with. Also interesting is the fact that I do not get to know why we are supposed to be mad at eachother. Heavens know I wasn’t mad before today and I still ain’t. Sad, dissapointed and confused yes. Angry no.
   I guess I should call the person in question and ask, but I really don’t feel like it. This isn’t the first time. I thought we had grewn out of that state and had come to a place where we could act as adults and talk to eachoter even though we’re not the kind of friends who hang out alot and call eachother all the time. But this kind of thing I felt was something we could talk about like grown ups. Guess I was wrong.

Dear reader. If you are ever sad or angry with me, please tell me so that I know. It might just be a misunderstanding, maybe we could talk about it and have it over with. Maybe not, but atleast then I know we’re at odd ends. 

I just read afew pages in a blog that belongs to a friends friend. The blogger in question is a swedish male in his 30s living in a heterosexual relationship, and is blogging about parenthood and his first (and this far only) child who is about 1,5 years old.
Much of his thoughs about parenting seems to agree with mine.
I was raised in a loving family who believes that boys can wear skirts if they want to, and girls can enjoy building electrical gadgets and one should be encouraged to be who they are and do what they enjoy to be happy. I think most of that is pretty standard in sweden now days, but was probably still a little controversial in the 1980’s when I was born and lived my first six years.

Now to what I was thinking about more in particular.
In the beginning of september he got some diaper commercial in his mailbox. It wanted him to join the parenthood community on www.pampers.se, “a place on the internet where you can share your experiences of parenthood with other parents”. The only problem is that the makers of the community seems to have no clue about reality OR equality. It pretty much only targets women and their parenting role. Under the tag “me” you find ways of loosing the weight one gained under pregnancy, ways of handeling the pain during the birthing process and ways to prevent complications while brestfeeding etc. To find ANYTHING about the fathers role you have to clic the tag “My family and world”. There are two articles under that tag. Ome is written by an expecting father, and the other by somekind of “expert”. The one written by the “expert” talks about how the father has to choose how much he wants to be involved in raising his kid, and how he must choose wich activities he wants to be in charge of. The whole article has an air of “The mom is the main parent, and will take care of diaper changes, stomach flues and making nutritious dinners for the happy family. The father makes the money, and when he comes home from work he will teach the little rascals how to ride a bike and perhaps help with the math home work”. Ok, It’s ALITTLE more modern then that but still! Suzanne Dixon lives in Minnesota and is a medical doctor who specialises in obstetrics and gynecology. But parenting-wise she is still where the swedish people were in the 1970’s when women demanded more freedome and that the father be more involved in the kids.
I know no fathers around my age in sweden who has had it as easy as she seems to think the father should have it. When they come home from work the tired mother has practicly thrown the baby in the fathers arms to change diapers/feed/bathe/whatever just to get a few moments to them selves. That the father should stay home if the kid gets sick just as much as the mom should is so selfevident that it’s not even discussed (except maybe for when the kid actually gets sick and one of the parents has an important meeting and therefore can’t stay home this time).

I know I’m really spoiled since I’m a swedish woman. Sweden is the most equal country in the world and many things that women in some other countrys can’t even dream of are things that I take for granted.
And I get that Pampers wants to sell more diapers and whatever other products they have and therefor naturally targets the mother since in most countrys she is in charge of those things, but couldn’t they atleast pretend to care more about the father and his parenting?
What if a desperate single father (say the mother died around the time she gave birt as an example) found the page and needed guidance and advice and only foudn yoga excercises to strengthen the kegel muscles after birth? That would suck.

Something is blocking the drain in our sink. It wasn’t there yesterday. It’s a mystery block! Nidde is being a manly man tryin to locate and remove the problem. I’m sitting here waiting for him to finish so I can do the dishes and make dinner. I’m hungry!

Also, I hate doing dishes but it’s my turn. I want a dishwasher. Screw diamonds- dishwashers are a girls best friend!

Apparantly the block is not fixable from here. It’s somewhere further down, so we must call maintenance. That sucks.